Antiquated

My mom

has an extensive VHS collection

(7 rows of them). If anyone knows my mom, she hates movies. She is in herself a conundrum. I can't get her to get rid of them. I tell her that DVD is better and that she should replace any of them that she likes with DVD. She won't budge. She loves her movies. She doesn't watch them, but she loves them. She indexed all of them with orange labels. Today, I decided to make a point. I took "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on VHS (a movie I dearly love) and broke it over my knee

in front of her. It hurt but had to be done. She knew I loved the movie. But now it is gone. I told her she could do the same with hers. "But what about 'The Santa Claus'?" she'd say. I said we could get it on DVD. I don't think it helped. I wasted a good movie. Maybe I planted a seed. Maybe I should throw them all away like I did her couches. I hated those couches. I found out why she's so happy and weird all the time. I found a weed cookbook

in her collection.

Fairly Well

This'll be short. First of all, Steve, and anyone who cares... I put pictures

up of the last last weekends movie-making experience. This last weekend was the Heart O' Texas Fair and Rodeo. I went with Kristy,

Lisa and Rod.

Did you know that you can get pizza on a stick?

Cops was apparently shot live at the fairgrounds by News Channel 25.

Every year I go to the fair, and every year I wonder why I wanted to go to the fair. Then I remember, it's for the animals.

They are the best things at the fair. My favorite was this turkey. Every time you whistle at him, he gets mad and yells at you. I could do that for hours. I want a turkey. Do you think it would have been mean if we ate turkey legs in front of him? They are only $6. The fair is always boring. And yet, every year I go. There was this lady waiting

for someone to cook her food. Next show was at 7:30. It was 7:30. I got disco fever

while riding the ferris wheel. A minivan

parked on the way to our cars was spray-painted silver, even the windows. Thats classy. So you're probably wondering where Keller was. I told him I didn't want him to come because he'd be boring. Its fun to watch him try to eat cereal with his gimp arm. Bless his heart. One funnel cake: $6 One bottle of watter: $3 8 tickets for 2 to ride the ferris wheel: $8 The chance to argue with a turkey: $17

Ode to my Evacuee Friends

Let this be a sort of memorial to all my friends that had to evacuate. Keller, Kevin, Kat (evacuated from New Orleans AND Houston), Kat (twice for emphasis), Marshal, any others that I forgot. For a very long time, Denny's in Waco has been referred to as "Ghetto Denny's." This was due to the fact that it was indeed ghetto. But... I found one that might be ghettoer, more ghetto, more ghettoer. It was changed to a buffet, but you can tell by the shape of the sign that it was at one time the Ghettoest Dennys.

Jasper took me for a drive

the other day. Ain't he cute! You know Popeyes Chicken,

it's really owned by the Catholic church. In the sign it says "POPE YES." See it? I don't like Popeyes chicken. I've been there once and I was annoyed. I don't want to talk about it. I think stupid cops

eat at Popeyes because they are annoying. They might be Catholic, too. I should start a restaurant called "POPENO." I'd sell country fried snake

and my restaurant would NOT annoying. It would also be handicap accessible. So my friend Keller, the super-hero gimp

can eat without worrying about making a "scene." His elbow looks like a football.

Played a little Mission Impossible at work. Needed to get into Shelley's office. I ripped a hole in my pants on the shin.

Thirsty?