Jumex®

Shopping at Wal-Mart at 2 am only leads to impulse buys. Sometimes it it good, sometimes not so good. But tonight was good. Whilst perusing the juice isle, we came upon Jumex® fruit juice for 38¢ each. So I picked one up and started to drink it. Keller got 2. I got 6 more. Keller got 18. I only wanted 7. To save time and just because it's fun I like to go thru the self-checkout line. (yes, woodway has these lanes open at 2 am). So I start with my 3/4 empty (or 1/4 full for the optimists). I scan it and "place it in the bag". Dooh! It's not heavy enough because it's almost gone. Can't cancel it. It starts yelling at me. I ask it nicely to cancel. It says, "Please place item in the bag." It gets louder. "PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN THE BAG!" So I put a full one in the bag and it is happy for a moment. Then I finally find a cancel order button and press it. I done pissed the thing off again. It says, "Please wait, assistance is on the way." And again it yells at me. "PLEASE WAIT, ASSISTANCE IS ON THE WAY." Either it was yelling at me or yelling at the assistance that wasn't on the way. Finally a nice lady came and cancelled it and I went to a real lane and the lady was real nice and didn't yell at me. She had never heard of Jumex® Juice. Keller gave her one of his. He had 18.

For the Birds

     So I get home, like I usually do I sit at my computer. No specific reason to sit at my computer, it's just habit. I hear something behind me so I look, and on top of my ceiling fan is a bird.      First thing I do is take a picture. Then I shut my door so I can catch this guy. I chase this little bugger around my room for about 10 minutes! He hangs from pictures on the wall. He hides under dressers. He sits on top of computers. He hangs from spackle on the ceiling. This guy is amazing. Just when you think you've got him, he flutter's away. He zips, he zings, he zigs, he zags, any other 'z' word you can think of. He shat on my headboard! Oooh, that did it. I'm done being mister nice guy. I tried throwing my jacket on him. He evaded. I actually hit him in the air trying to catch him mid-flight. Not working. I finally pounce him. When I get outside, I open my hands and he just sits there, looks at me, then flutters away.      After 5 minutes of silent celebration, he's back. He got in through the window that Jasper the Cat goes through. He heads straight for my room!! Why? What does he want? After chasing him a couple minutes, I get him into the hall and he just sits on the ceiling fan in the hall. Like duellers ready for the other to make a move we stand staring at each other for about 2 minutes, 5 feet apart. Then the chase pursues. On the floor, on the ceiling, on the fan, behind the painting, between the banister rails, and into the bathroom. Since I'm working on re-wallpapering the bathroom (and have been for the past 3 years,) the air vent has nothing covering it. The dumb bird flies up there and taunts me as he sits perched at the opening. I can't chase him now. He'll fly down the shaft. He won, for now. He sat there for 5 minutes. He wasn't leaving. Motionless. Never making a sound. What could he need in the bathroom. He already shat on my headboard. The only thing bringing him out would be turning the air on high, which would instigate another chase. Out the bathroom, down the hall, along the floor, across the ceiling, on top of the door jam, down the stairs, back and forth across the living room, hanging from pictures finally into the kitchen just to go back to the living room back to the kitchen through the open garage door. Yes! Shut the door. Victory! I gotta go. I leave. The bird is gone. Out of the house. I won. Oh NO!! I forgot to close Jasper the Cat's window.

Yup Yup

amber: hi justin justicart: blog justicart: haha amber: haha justicart: what are you doing? amber: youa re a good reminder justicart: :) justicart: i just checked it 2 minutes ago amber: about to get to bed amber: heh amber: i can't blog unless i know it'll be entertaining to read. justicart: it will be amber: ok ok ok justicart: i'm listening to Mad Professors remix of Massive Attack's "Teardrop" amber: what are you up too justicart: that amber: oh fun justicart: haah justicart: i'm contemplating my blog justicart: i was looking for vehicular modifications concerning my ipod amber: ooh i'm so jealouse of you amber: that was a nice christmas present to get yourself justicart: keller got it for me amber: cool justicart: he's a nice guy amber: indeed justicart: how was your day? amber: it was excellent! thanks for asking.i worked out at the gym. what about yours justicart: i went to work justicart: blegh amber: anything exciting happen? justicart: i made out with lynae the weather intern amber: oh justicart: she's so hot amber: fun amber: where did yall makeout at? amber: haha justicart: in the "First Alert Severe Weather Center" justicart: I almost went to dinner with her and her parents at Casa Ole justicart: but she was going too late, had to be back for work amber: oh amber: so are yall gonna go out and stuff? justicart: oh yeah justicart: you bet amber: thats so cool! justicart: yeah amber: was she a good kisser? justicart: so the real story is, I said hi to her today amber: haha amber: uh huh justicart: but she really was going to Casa Ole with her parents at 7:15 justicart: and she asked if I wanted to go justicart: but really, she has a boyfriend justicart: and he's big amber: oh amber: that sucks justicart: eh, it's my life amber: dont you forget justicart: i made out with sonia in our office amber: liar justicart: i took pictures justicart: she tried to kill my fish justicart: haha justicart: real story justicart: i asked her if she would feed him justicart: she said ok amber: i want to see the make out pictures justicart: (since i was on vacation) amber: whats the fish's name justicart: arnold amber: oh justicart: so she said that friday she remembered she was supposed to feed him justicart: so she fed him a lot! amber: uh oh justicart: too much for him to eat amber: i bet he over ate justicart: probably justicart: or it made him sick justicart: either way amber: poor fish justicart: his water was really really gross justicart: there was crusty white foamy film on top of the water justicart: and the water was completely not see through amber: aw thats sad amber: poor arnold amber: he's not going to get re-elected with a dirty fish bowl justicart: no no justicart: i cleaned it immediately justicart: i think he was mad amber: ok good

Thou Shalt Not Kill

So one day I might decide that I have too much to do. Everything is easier to do, so I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything when it doesn't take as long to do as it used to. So I do more. I start doing so much that I run out of time to do everything I now need to do. So, to alleviate my problem I clone myself. Of course I send my cloned-self out to do all the tedious stuff like work and school. Let's call my cloned self Nitsuj. Now that I have Nitsuj out doing the boring stuff I have time to do more stuff. I could say that I will eventually fill my time again and have need of another clone, but that isn't where I am going with this. Besides, you've seen multiplicity, right? Can't work that way. Eventually, Nitsuj will be smarter than me. He will have more experience doing what I want to learn how to do. He will probably be more attractive than me. I don't know how, but he will. All the girls will like him more. He'll get a degree and move away to a better job, get married, and leave me here all alone. Now I'll have to get a job anyways, because he'll stop supporting me. I'm now uneducated and lacking skills. But when I try to go back to school, they look at me funny for trying to take classes I already passed. Everywhere I apply, they say I am over-qualified. I somehow forced myself into a higher bracket that I am not capable of doing. I don't have the skills and therefore am forced to go into another field. I probably will take up accounting. Not because I like it, but because I hate it. So now I'm an Accountant. Nitsuj is everything I want to be but can't because I already am. There is only one thing to do. Take my life back by taking it away. I will find Nitsuj and kill him in his sleep and slide right back into my own life like nothing ever happened. Somehow I will figure out what I need to know and get my skills back. I probably won't like my wife. She's probably annoying. She probably won't like me anyways. I can't just discard my body. What do I do with it? Whatever I do, it will be found. It will be identified as me. Should I go to my funeral? Would that be bad taste? What should I wear. Should I wear my clothes or Nitsuj's? Would my wife cry if I was dead in the coffin and sitting next to her at the same time? She doesn't like me anyways. Should I invite her to my funeral? I should give the eulogy. They will know it was me. Could I testify against myself? Can I be my own witness? Which side am I on? Can a dead person testify? Yeah, I did it. I killed myself so I could have my life back. I should have the same lawyer. He's fighting for both sides. Don't think I'm paying him twice. He will represent the dead me and the living me. My wife probably won't show up. Does she even know I'm dead? How can they prove that I killed me? My finger prints will be all over my tool of choice. That proves what? Suicide? Yet they still try to convict me? They have nothing on me. Is it really wrong to kill myself if I'm still living? I would hope that I would leave everything I own to myself in my will. That would suck to lose everything just because I'm dead. I would definitely leave my stereo to myself at least.

The Mastermind

     According to the Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test, my type is INTJ. The spread is extreme. Introverted takes 11%, Judging takes 1%, while iNtuitive and Thinking both take 44% each. This profile is often referred to as "The Mastermind." I will discuss first what this means by definition, then I will apply it to me.      "The Mastermind" takes control of situations. He gives orders to other people, who in turn follow those orders. He is precise in how things are to be done. Everything is expected to be complete how, when and in what order the instructions are given. He is strong willed and very self confident. Decisions are made easily. He sticks by these decisions because they are, in fact, the best decision out of all the alternatives. The decided route is planned out in his head to be the one with the greatest payoff or most gain. Plans are made logically and exact. They must be carried out in the precise order in which they were originally planned out. Backup plans are always thought out. Any input from others is only taken into consideration only if it conforms to the specific goals that he outlined in the beginning. However, no idea is too far-fetched, as long as it can benefit. Brainstorming for new ideas is common, and any idea that doesn't work as well as it should is discarded as fast as it was thought up.      If someone capable and intelligent were to be in control, the mastermind would let them lead. But if a leader were to prove himself inept and incapable of fulfilling the requirements, then he would take charge.      Organization, decisions, goals, etc, are all flexible and able to change quickly to allow for efficiency, streamlining, or improvement.      Generally INTJ types know a lot about everything, and like to let everyone know they do. They work at perfecting on whatever idea passes through there head. Anything that doesn't move along or doesn't prove to be worth the time is discarded and never thought of again while another idea takes it's place. Usually many ideas fill the minds of these people.      INTJ's are creative. They have a strong imagination. This lets them work out the details in their mind to determine if something will be of use or not. They are generally non-conformists. When they do conform, it is usually to mask their unconventional ways or weird ways of doing things.      INTJ's suck at relationships. They tend to devote all their emotions to few people. Self-confidence in intelligence and ideas that help them in other aspects of their life have no sway when it comes to women. It could very well be that they don't understand women, (who does?). Ideas that aren't understood and not worth the time are discarded, but that can't be the case with their relationship. If they don't understand, they can't just throw it out. That's where their self-confidence has no impact. They don't open up to many people and seem closed off. This can cause others to misread them, which leads to problems of it's own at times. INTJ's want other people to make sense. When they don't make sense it frustrates them. Directness from others is required but never given.      Even though they get frustrated they do devote a lot into trying to make things work. Situations are created in their head. Meanings of, most likely, harmless actions are over-interpreted. When a relationship is found, they tend to be strong.      I like to think of myself as a "Mastermind." I feel like I do possess some qualities, but most of the time I like to let someone else take the lead and still give me the freedom to do things the way I want to do them. I don't feel like I have the confidence to make the right decisions about everything. I definitely have a lot to learn. Maybe when I'm old and gray will I know everything and be super-self-confident and make the right decisions ALL the time. Then people will follow me and I will be King of the World. Or, I'll follow someone else around at the nursing home and hope that they know what they're doing. Maybe they'll have a great plan to escape.      To prove that not everything is as organized as a proper INTJ should, I think I broke off my original plan to give straight definition first and actually went off on how I relate to INTJ for most of this paper. Although, this does fit with the INTJ personality in that the original plan is flexible and I changed it to be more effective. This is the best, and only way to do it.