Thou Shalt Not Kill

So one day I might decide that I have too much to do. Everything is easier to do, so I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything when it doesn't take as long to do as it used to. So I do more. I start doing so much that I run out of time to do everything I now need to do. So, to alleviate my problem I clone myself. Of course I send my cloned-self out to do all the tedious stuff like work and school. Let's call my cloned self Nitsuj. Now that I have Nitsuj out doing the boring stuff I have time to do more stuff. I could say that I will eventually fill my time again and have need of another clone, but that isn't where I am going with this. Besides, you've seen multiplicity, right? Can't work that way. Eventually, Nitsuj will be smarter than me. He will have more experience doing what I want to learn how to do. He will probably be more attractive than me. I don't know how, but he will. All the girls will like him more. He'll get a degree and move away to a better job, get married, and leave me here all alone. Now I'll have to get a job anyways, because he'll stop supporting me. I'm now uneducated and lacking skills. But when I try to go back to school, they look at me funny for trying to take classes I already passed. Everywhere I apply, they say I am over-qualified. I somehow forced myself into a higher bracket that I am not capable of doing. I don't have the skills and therefore am forced to go into another field. I probably will take up accounting. Not because I like it, but because I hate it. So now I'm an Accountant. Nitsuj is everything I want to be but can't because I already am. There is only one thing to do. Take my life back by taking it away. I will find Nitsuj and kill him in his sleep and slide right back into my own life like nothing ever happened. Somehow I will figure out what I need to know and get my skills back. I probably won't like my wife. She's probably annoying. She probably won't like me anyways. I can't just discard my body. What do I do with it? Whatever I do, it will be found. It will be identified as me. Should I go to my funeral? Would that be bad taste? What should I wear. Should I wear my clothes or Nitsuj's? Would my wife cry if I was dead in the coffin and sitting next to her at the same time? She doesn't like me anyways. Should I invite her to my funeral? I should give the eulogy. They will know it was me. Could I testify against myself? Can I be my own witness? Which side am I on? Can a dead person testify? Yeah, I did it. I killed myself so I could have my life back. I should have the same lawyer. He's fighting for both sides. Don't think I'm paying him twice. He will represent the dead me and the living me. My wife probably won't show up. Does she even know I'm dead? How can they prove that I killed me? My finger prints will be all over my tool of choice. That proves what? Suicide? Yet they still try to convict me? They have nothing on me. Is it really wrong to kill myself if I'm still living? I would hope that I would leave everything I own to myself in my will. That would suck to lose everything just because I'm dead. I would definitely leave my stereo to myself at least.