For the Birds

     So I get home, like I usually do I sit at my computer. No specific reason to sit at my computer, it's just habit. I hear something behind me so I look, and on top of my ceiling fan is a bird.      First thing I do is take a picture. Then I shut my door so I can catch this guy. I chase this little bugger around my room for about 10 minutes! He hangs from pictures on the wall. He hides under dressers. He sits on top of computers. He hangs from spackle on the ceiling. This guy is amazing. Just when you think you've got him, he flutter's away. He zips, he zings, he zigs, he zags, any other 'z' word you can think of. He shat on my headboard! Oooh, that did it. I'm done being mister nice guy. I tried throwing my jacket on him. He evaded. I actually hit him in the air trying to catch him mid-flight. Not working. I finally pounce him. When I get outside, I open my hands and he just sits there, looks at me, then flutters away.      After 5 minutes of silent celebration, he's back. He got in through the window that Jasper the Cat goes through. He heads straight for my room!! Why? What does he want? After chasing him a couple minutes, I get him into the hall and he just sits on the ceiling fan in the hall. Like duellers ready for the other to make a move we stand staring at each other for about 2 minutes, 5 feet apart. Then the chase pursues. On the floor, on the ceiling, on the fan, behind the painting, between the banister rails, and into the bathroom. Since I'm working on re-wallpapering the bathroom (and have been for the past 3 years,) the air vent has nothing covering it. The dumb bird flies up there and taunts me as he sits perched at the opening. I can't chase him now. He'll fly down the shaft. He won, for now. He sat there for 5 minutes. He wasn't leaving. Motionless. Never making a sound. What could he need in the bathroom. He already shat on my headboard. The only thing bringing him out would be turning the air on high, which would instigate another chase. Out the bathroom, down the hall, along the floor, across the ceiling, on top of the door jam, down the stairs, back and forth across the living room, hanging from pictures finally into the kitchen just to go back to the living room back to the kitchen through the open garage door. Yes! Shut the door. Victory! I gotta go. I leave. The bird is gone. Out of the house. I won. Oh NO!! I forgot to close Jasper the Cat's window.